At times I was angry Ronan had this - he got his NG tube before I was even able to go to the NICU and see him, which was the next day. When I worked with a nurse and lactation consultant prior to him being whisked away, no one even mentioned that anything was out of the ordinary. Maybe he had trouble with a bottle, I don't know. By the end of his time in the NICU, the neonatologist was happy with Ronan's progress and intake, and we were sent home sans-NG tube.
In his first few weeks, the topic of getting the NG-tube back came up. Honestly, I was just so overwhelmed. We were literally going to the cardiologist several times a week to monitor his heart, just waiting for it to get a little worse and schedule him for his open heart surgery. We knew he couldn't hear and we knew there were vision issues. And there were so many other unknowns, and trips to specialists, that I honestly couldn't handle this. Ronan was gaining and growing, albeit a bit slower than normal, so we pushed to not get a feeding tube. We felt that the heart condition was likely the source eating up all those extra calories, so we figured we would be fine once Ronan had surgery.
Ronan did pretty well after coming off that formula, he gained at a much better pace. But given how far below he fell, he only recently got back on the chart. And now that he's a year old, his weight gain has slowed again. Ronan is also a super active kid, which doesn't help his calories! He's probably about the 4th or 5th percentile in weight.
I can't help but wonder if we would have tube fed him, would he now be much higher on the growth chart? Would we never have dropped off after the heart surgery? Have I set him up to never get back on track? I know it must be hard to be the small kid in school, but what if you are the small kid, with glasses and hearing aids? All we ever want as parents is for our children to be happy, and I wonder if now later in life, he will have even more challenges.
|My little tiger|
I suppose as parents, we will always have things that we question later in life. This is one of those areas. I hope that I haven't set my son up for other challenges in the future.