I've had a rough couple of weeks. When we got back from vacation, I talked a big talk about not monitoring calories, about not watching what Ronan ate. Results? No weight gain that week. We basically wavered right around 16 pounds for nearly a month. This made me feel terrible, like I had put my needs ahead of my little boy. That I needed a break more than he needed to gain weight and get healthier.
|Ronan gets down to studying|
Thankfully, his vision is correctable. We will be getting glasses shortly. The correction is strong enough that he is likely uncomfortable without glasses. This was evident when we went to try on his glasses before they were sealed. Ronan will not wear sunglasses, but he did not touch these glasses. He seemed to know that wearing them made things better. They made him feel better.
Back to the original intent of this post... While needing glasses was seemingly not a big deal, I was devastated. I cried for a couple days, I just couldn't shake it. Anyone else might have been somewhat upset. Why is it a big deal to just slap a pair of glasses on, and go about your businesses? But for Ronan, this was just one more thing. One more difference, one more part of his life we would have to monitor. A rational person would have thought, no big deal. It's just glasses.
But for a life with a special needs child, highs are higher and lows are lower. And this low, was a big low.
With all lows though, there are highs that eventually come along. For us, that was Ronan and solid food. Since I had been feeling so bad about his weight gain, I set up an appointment with the RD at the hospital where we had Ronan. Results? Ronan gained seven ounces in five days! His favorite food will probably be butter, but he is gaining!! Again, I cried when we realized how much weight he gained. And any other person might not have even noticed those extra ounces, but we did. Ronan has been a rock star with solid food. He literally laughs when we feed him this whole milk yogurt. He absolutely loves solids, so another score for Ronan.
A life without passion is no life at all
I've often wondered if this experience and journey with Ronan has made me more passionate. But I don't think that I somehow have more passion for my child than anyone else. Although I may celebrate Ronan gaining an ounce while another mom may not bat an eye, I don't think this qualifies as some additional passion for my child above and beyond. I simply think it all evens out. I would not trade this experience for anything. I love this little guy so much, and I am so lucky that I get to be his mommy. I feel privileged that I get to help and guide him through life, with all its ups and downs.